2020 ELECTION CONSPIRACY THEORISTS NOW QUESTIONING FLORIDA CONDO DEATH COUNT

 

We each get one vote. "One" is a homophone for "won." Don't you get it!?

(Surfside, FL) - As the death count in the collapse of the Champlain Towers complex continues rose to 94 (as of this writing), many have seen the tragedy as a time to take stock of the nation's direction. President Joe Biden spoke to the Governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis and promised federal aid for the disaster.

"It's a tough, tough time," the president said. "There's so many people waiting. Are they alive? What will happen? And so, our heart goes out to them."

In the charged political climate of the United States, however, some of those who believe that Biden's election was not legitimate have been quick to draw parallels between the rise in vote tallies and the death count after the structure collapsed.

"Well, actually, it's really pretty obvious to anyone who's been paying attention," said Benny Woodruff of Winston-Salem, NC. "Think about it for a second, and I think you'll understand what I mean. Just, you know, think about it."

When asked for clarification, Woodruff scoffed, and continued, "How does a body count rise after the accident? Are people still dying in the collapse? No. The collapse happened, people died, but the numbers are still going up? That doesn't make any sense. It's just like when they were finding votes. And people want to come at Trump because he asked some Governors to find him votes. Well, duh! Biden and Harris didn't have to ask - they already had things locked down from the agents in the structures of power. And I bet you anything you want to bet that those who were in positions to be critical of what they were doing - you want to know who they're finding under the rubble in Florida? It's us. It's the people who knew about the corrupt Democrats. Every time they find a body under that mess, that means they've found, executed, and drained the blood of another truth-teller."

Woodruff continued to talk, but the Big Tobacco's correspondent had already gone away to his happy place, imagining that people like this didn't actually exist.