Wednesday, May 31, 2017

DUCK DYNASTY PARAPHERNALIA SPILLS INTO DAN RIVER


Rockingham County - Having made national news some three years ago, the Dan river again is blighted with toxic refuse. In February of 2014, a pipe ruptured and spilled nearly 39,000 tons of coal ash into the waterway. The clean up was estimated at 300 million dollars. But as of today, a new threat faces the river, which flows through Caswell, Stokes, and Rockingham counties in North Carolina, as well as Patrick county, Virginia.
Sources say that a Duck Dynasty Refuse disposal site ruptured in the early hours of May 30th, and its contents have spilled into this already troubled ecosystem. While estimates are still coming in, experts put the amount of what they are calling "subsewage" at 10,000 tons, saying that this is a disaster of cataclysmic proportions and calling on North Carolina's Roy Cooper and Virginia's Terry McAuliffe to declare the affected counties in their respective jurisdictions Disaster Areas.
"What you have to understand," states Dr. William Bard, an ecologist and biologist with the Biosphere Effort of the Dan River, "is that this isn't coal ash. No. It's much worse. It could be half of the amount that got in there, and we'd still be apologizing to our grand kids... to our great grand kids. Do you want them talking like, what's his name... Uncle Si? Boil your drinking water people. Boil it, evaporate it, and catch it in a still. Maybe, twice."
Dr. Bard shuddered and returned to cleaning the river with a trash bag. Various bobble head dolls, stuffed animals, t-shirts, and other novelties - subsewage, according to the experts, should be treated as extremely toxic. Residents are asked to contact local authorities for instructions and to report exposure.