NORTH CAROLINA OUTLAWS REFERENCING THAT IT MADE STUDYING SEA LEVEL RISE ILLEGAL

Raleigh, NC - In its on-going war against information, the North Carolina legislature has passed a law criminalizing the act of making reference to its 2012 decision to ban studies of sea-level rise. Many critics of the move have decried it as totalitarian, medieval, and Orwellian.
"I'd say that it was beyond belief," stated an unnamed reporter, "but, you know, I'm not exactly sure what could land me in jail for informing the populace."
"People are scared," said an NC House member, whose name cannot be released. "And, they'd be too terrified to make good electoral choices if they knew the truth about what we've done to this planet and what it's going to mean in the future. I mean, can you imagine if people were thinking about us when they got hit with a category 4? We can't have that; it'd just be too upsetting for the general population. Look at what happened to the tobacco industry in this state when people started getting their hands on information."
After the state was pounded with two hurricanes within months of each other, North Carolina's House of Representatives decided to act before it was too late.
"You know when new 'progressive' house members take over, we can't just let them start spilling the beans on what happens in government. Think about it: Otto von Bismark once said that the public shouldn't see laws or sausages being made. There was a reason for that," claimed another representative whose name has been legally redacted. He went on to claim that, "information is dangerous! Do not forget the lessons of the book of Genesis! When Eve ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, it let sin and death into the world! God used a flood to cleanse the land when He saw fit! Can you imagine if there'd been scientists around back then, checking in on things? Why, the Nephilim could have built their own ark! We'd be up over our heads in lusty demi-angels!"
The state is contemplating more resolutions and legislation concerning "unpopular," "dangerous," and "counter-productive" information. While no sources could corroborate any of this, out of state legal scholars have apparently received messages, claiming that NC law-makers are looking at licenses for reading, the outlawing of print media, and taking the school system's last two remaining nickels. Constituents in the state were unable to be reached for comment because the publication of the facts about the facts is within an unknown legal jurisdiction.