MADNESS OVER

(Indianapolis, IN) In light of news surrounding the COVID-19 illness, the NCAA has announced that its basketball tournament would be cancelled for 2020, ending March Madness. While the move has upset some and will mean the loss of a lot of revenue for many, its effects on the amount of global madness this month are still uncertain.
"Well, you've got Trump. There's a pandemic going on. And, well, you've got Trump's response to the pandemic," said Nakata Kirimisu, the chair of the Psychology department at Gordonsville State University in Idaho. "I don't think that we're likely to see an end to or even a decline in madness anytime soon. If anything, I think that with everything that's going on right now - problems in the banks, the election, all of the people ignoring the advice of health professionals because they don't see a direct threat to them right in front of their faces... well, we're gearing up for a lot more madness. Not less. At least, when it was basketball, it was contained. I mean, Dennis Rodman is pretty insane, but he's only sort of tangentially related to March Madness, right?"
The spread of misinformation, false cures/inoculations, and unintelligent memes have highlighted a profusion of chaotic and even nihilistic sentiments.
"Madness, most anthropologists agree, is subjective and historically relative," said Greg Guttenheim of University of Iowa. "If you were behaving in the way that people did in the Elizabethan era, we'd probably think that you were mentally ill... or, at least, a cosplayer. If you were behaving the way that people do now, in that time period, they'd probably burn you for a witch. Look, this is all about that idea of the 'new normal.' Kids embracing nihilistic tendencies and talking about how airline fares are low and the industry is infected with COVID-19, so they can get a cheap flight, die, and that's a good thing? Yeah, that tracks. We're in the process of creating a dystopia that disrespects science in favor of a President who claims to have some sort of... what was it he said? 'natural ability' for healthcare; the least we can do is not act surprised when people start acting like it is what it is: completely fucking mental."