(Raleigh, NC) - Just weeks after the incumbent governor, Pat McCrory, finally conceded the contest for North Carolina's executive office, Roy Cooper was sworn in as the state's new governor. Cooper was the state's former attorney general. He campaigned on promises that include increased educational spending and a repeal of the controversial HB2 law that limits protections for the LGBT community.
"Let's see him try any of that now," laughed McCrory, as he left the smoking ashes of what had once been North Carolina's highest office, stopping to light a cigar on the smoldering pile of powers that he once enjoyed.
After calling a special session of the legislature to discuss funding relief from Hurricane Matthew and the western Carolina wildfires and "addressing any other matters that the General Assembly elects to consider."
Those other matters apparently included McCrory ceding any and all power that a governor might have or use.
"That motherfucker isn't going to be able to take a piss without a special proviso from the Republican majority in congress. Fat chance they're going to let him do that. He might use the girls' restroom! Get it!?" laughed McCrory, "The girls' restroom!?"
The former governor and gracious loser of the election slapped his knee and let out several belly laughs.
After being sworn in on January 1st, 2017, Roy Cooper then donned the "Governor's Straight Jacket," a new tradition started this year as an act of the General Assembly.
"Well, this makes a whole heap of sense," groaned Cooper, as the aides that were appointed for him by McCrory tied the sleeves of the vestment behind his back.
