Monday, August 7, 2017

SIMPLY SOUTHERN LAUNCHES NEW "NOT HATE; HERITAGE" LINE


Greensboro, NC - The manufacturer Simply Southern is launching a new product line this week. While many Southerners are hailing the company's re-branding as artistic and fearless, not everyone is in agreement.
"My husband and I had always thought that the use of the 'S.S.' logo was an unfortunate - and I'm just going to say it - stupid coincidence, but this is just unbelievable," said Rebecca Horowitz, a local attorney.
Horowitz is referencing the company's use of Armanen Runes to replace the capital 'S's as the first letter of each word. This is the same design that was used by the Schutzstaffel, also known as the SS, in Nazi Germany. As part of the re-branding, the Simply Southern has launched an advertising campaign that remembers the south's heritage, which - they argue - is not to be mistaken for hate. Erwin Fuchs, a spokesperson for the company, released this statement:

"We have every right to use this logo as legitimate members of the capitalist democracy, the United States. Our company is dedicated to remembering the distinctive heritage of our native born brothers and sisters. We will not allow others to cloud our history with lies, try to cause us to feel shame for who we are, or infiltrate our ranks with their apologist absurdity that denigrates our birthright!"

The statement was echoed by local supporters of the manufacturer.

"It never was about hate! States rights! Heritage!"
"Southern by the grace of god, y'all!"
"Ain't nothin' wrong with bein' white! Got nothin' to hide!"
"Trump 2020! Make America Great Again!"
"Affirmative action means there ain't no such thing as white privilege!"

The speakers declined to be identified by name.

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