(Wilmington, NC) After the removal of University of North Carolina's "Silent Sam" statue in 2018, clashes over the state's memorials to soldiers of the Confederacy have increased in ferocity. Opponents of the statues claim that they publicly endorse a regime that allowed the enslavement, rape, and murder of millions of Africans. Proponents of the statues claim that they are part of the state's history and heritage, wondering why their counterparts have to be so impolite.
"It really is just rude to try to destroy the history of a state that allowed you to own people," claimed Randall Fordham, a local bank teller and Civil War reenactor. He spoke at a recent rally at the site that had previously been home to the controversial statue. "One of 'em called me a bigot. That hurts. I can't believe he would say that about me, someone he doesn't know."
Despite warnings and protestations from those around him, Fordham continued, saying, "It's sad, but it's not surprising. You know, blacks just don't value civility or education the way that white people do."
This comment elicited booing and a variety of expletives from protesters, passersby, and anyone who has a basic understanding of the ramifications of what he was saying. Gesticulating wildly, Fordham appeared to indicate that he did not understand how his comments could be construed as racist.
"It's just like they keep saying about President Trump. But the thing no one seems to be able to answer is, 'how can he be racist if he once shook a black man's hand?' He's not racist. He knows Don King!"
After yet another round of booing, Fordham shook his head and sighed, "It's like these people don't understand that Donald Trump won the Presidential Election. Can't they just let it go that they lost?"
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