(Gilmead, KY)
Guy: Just fifteen minutes ago, we witnessed an amazing display of evasiveness, confirmation bias, fallacious logic, and so much more. It really was a thing of beauty to behold. Isn't that right, Sean?
Sean: I would say that it was unbelievable, but I heard it with my own ears... ...which doesn't mean that it's true, right Guy?
Guy: That seems to be the underpinning of this amazing set that we saw out of the living room of retired chemical disposal engineer, Aaron Forsythe. Why don't you tell us what we saw here?
Sean: Well, that seems to be the order of the day, doesn't it? It started with Mr. Forsythe, technically under a stay-at-home order for the past month, unironically claiming that the government needed to investigate Joe Biden's alleged sexual harassment and assault of Tara Reade in a phone call with his brother-in-law, Alex Smith, a registered Democrat.
Guy: Wow, that's impressive. I am to understand that Forsythe made this look easy?
Sean: Easy doesn't begin to describe it. Forsythe already had an argument ready to go when Smith asked about the more than a dozen sexual assault charges against Donald Trump. He said, and I quote, 'That's just the liberal media drumming up charges against the President.' But, in all honesty, that's a pretty routine claim coming from anyone who supports Donald Trump, isn't it?
Guy: Yes, it is. What really makes this stand out was that Forsythe actually got the information on Biden from CNN. I am assuming that he didn't admit this to Smith?
Sean: Oh, of course not. That would have been terrible form. No, but Smith did come back at him asking if he had ever seen the clip of the President talking about grabbing women "by the p*****s."
Guy: And, what did Forsythe have to say about that? Was he able to keep going?
Sean: This guy is a consummate professional. Just listen to what he said to that, and I quote, 'Listen, I don't really like the guy. He's - pardon my french - but he's an asshole. The thing is, who did you want me to vote for, Hillary? The woman deleted a bunch of e-mails so that the Justice Department couldn't find them.'
Guy: You're right. Consummate professional. That's incredible. From sexual assault to Hillary's e-mails in one breath.
Sean: What you have to understand is that these guys make an entire identity for themselves out of this. They cannot back down. They cannot show signs of weakness. They've gotten their entire sense of masculinity wrapped up in Donald Trump. Can you imagine if they backed off on him? There is a complete rhetorical school in play here. It's air tight. There are retorts to absolutely everything that might be thrown their way. On that note, tell the our audience what happened next.
Guy: As Smith was sighing deeply - a time he later admitted to having thought about hanging up the phone - Forsythe pointed out that the liberal news media was committed to burning Trump in any way that they could. He accused Smith of having, 'TDS.'
Sean: For the folks at home, what is TDS?
Guy: Trump Derangement Syndrome. It allows the accuser to discount everything that the other party has to say because they are afflicted with something beyond their control. It actually takes the onus away from the person defending Trump and places it on the other person - they have to make a case for their own sanity first.
Sean: Amazing. I'm to understand that at that point Smith changed the subject?
Guy: It was a thing of beauty. Forsythe was able to talk about the weather, quarantine, and a mutual friend's cancelled wedding without any sign at all of awkwardness. It was as if he hadn't just claimed that his brother-in-law was incapable of rational thought with regard to the President. Phenomenal.
Sean: Well, that about wraps it up for us today, doesn't it?
Guy: It does, Sean. It does. Until next time, this is the Big Tobacco - remember, even though it feels so wrong, you know it's so right.
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