(United States) As the country sees its final 54,000+ cases of COVID-19 yesterday, many are reflecting on the pandemic. The 4th of July weekend is giving a lot of US residents their first opportunity to celebrate together since the virus' total and complete elimination less than twelve hours ago. Many are participating in symbolic demonstrations, like burning the masks that they refused to wear for their safety and the safety of others. Others rallied around President Trump to affirm his statement that the virus would just "disappear."
Medical professionals are baffled.
"Virii don't just disappear like this," says Dr. Ben Ferro of Hamilton University. "You don't have 132,000 deaths over the course of a few months and then suddenly nothing the next day. This is insane. You people who are just declaring this over, you're going to be responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths - maybe millions."
"Just ignoring this is the worst thing that you can do," says Dr. Alfred Franklin of the CDC. "We have been trying to tell everyone that this is beatable. This pandemic is something against which we could have taken action, against which we can still take action. But, to deny that it is even happening, this is a completely irresponsible, dangerous - even stupid - position to take."
"Yeah, well, it wasn't never real to begin with," mumbles Hank Perry, between sips of Budweiser. Mr. Perry is a manager at a car dealership in Lexington, KY, a supporter of the President, and the writer of a blog that poorly summarizes posts from Infowars. "We know it was just more of that MSN BS to undermine the President. Don't you think if it were real, Trump would be wearing a mask? I mean, look at it from that perspective. The President of the United States would wear a mask if it was dangerous. He doesn't. It ain't dangerous. These airy-fairy, namby-pamby liberals just want to control us. They want submission. Well, these colors don't run, buddy. Guess what? Now the virus is gone. Just like the President said it would be. Now what are they gonna say? It didn't disappear? Well, I got news for you: it did. That's it. Bam. I don't wanna hear anything else about Corona unless it's about that Mexican beer. That's it. Happy 4th. Freedom, b*tches."
When asked for a response to this, Dr. Franklin could only gesture with his palms turned skyward saying, "We deserve this. We deserve this. We are reaping what we've sown."
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