(Mar-a-Lago, FL) At around 9:00 PM EST, global eye-rolling became audible along with the groans of more than four billion people. Arhab Pasha of Karachi, Pakistan, claims to have heard the noise at 7 AM (GMT+5) and had this to say, "It was very strange. One moment, everything is completely quiet. Out of nowhere I heard a sound like a blink - you know the little 'pop' your eyes make when you open and shut them? But it was somehow louder and softer at the same time. Like something sliding. Yes. Like that. There came with it a kind of groan, you know?"
The phenomenon was not isolated. In Almaty, Kazakhistan, Dastan Orazev reported something similar, as did Russell Tipton in Leeds, UK. All over the world, it is estimated that 4.6 billion people collectively rolled their eyes and let out some form of exasperated sigh. Perhaps unsurprisingly, at the exact same time, former President and current Florida man, Donald Trump, announced yesterday that he would be running for President of the United States of America again in 2024. This comes on the heels of a close and divisive midterm election season that, with a runoff election in Georgia and some states still counting their ballots, is not yet over. While having a likely lock on the House of Representatives, Republicans have not performed as well as many pollsters had forecasted. At the heart of this is the forty-fifth President, who many see as having sown division into his own party, with a split opinion on the 2020 election, January 6th, and how deep a potential veneer of human decency should be at the forefront of disagreements in America's right wing.
The Guinness Book of World Records has called into question whether this many people will ever collectively roll their eyes again, as a potential Trump win in 2024 could significantly decrease world population through thermonuclear war, climate change, mass suicide, a wet bulb die off, what author Kurt Vonnegut described as "thousand mile stare," or any combination of these and more.
Good luck to you all.
No comments:
Post a Comment