(Worldwide) With climatologists ranking 2022 as the fifth warmest year since record keeping of this kind began, the expectations for average temperature in 2023 are high.
The report has met with an ecstatic response from summer enthusiasts all over the world.
"Eternal summer? What could be better?" asked surf shop owner Hal Fenwick, of Sandhall, SC.
"Warmer weather is, like, more, you know, good for plants and stuff, isn't it?" pointed out Bill Greene, a local GED aspirant and Sandhall's only amateur tour guide.
His opinion has been echoed by those on Capitol Hill. Moreover, it reflects a shift in responses to Climate Change, something vehemently denied by many Republican politicians.
"As we see public perception of the warming phenomenon change, along with some of my colleagues' arrival at a middle school level of scientific literacy, it's going to become important for us as a culture to recontextualize the idea of a warming world," said Rep. Steve White (R - TX). He went into further detail, saying, "Instead of James Inhofe bringing a snowball onto the Senate floor, we're looking more at the silver lining. I mean, who doesn't like summer? When I was a boy, we loved it. Beach trips. Girls in bikinis. No school. I mean, this is a win-win if we play it right."
In response, Rep. Susan Gordon (D - VT) fired back, "Are you kidding me? You know warmer temperatures mean more droughts, more and stronger hurricanes, desertification, destruction at all levels!"
Republicans, however, were too captivated with White's words to issue a response, as they were already in talks to draft an "Endless Summer Bill" that would end public education forever, thereby creating a space for even larger tax cuts, ending politically charged teacher's strikes, and ensuring that future generations would not have access to information or reasoning skills that might lay the blame for catastrophic societal and anthropological shift on the backs of those who not only did nothing to prevent it but actively tried to silence activists in favor of their own interests.
The report has met with an ecstatic response from summer enthusiasts all over the world.
"Eternal summer? What could be better?" asked surf shop owner Hal Fenwick, of Sandhall, SC.
"Warmer weather is, like, more, you know, good for plants and stuff, isn't it?" pointed out Bill Greene, a local GED aspirant and Sandhall's only amateur tour guide.
His opinion has been echoed by those on Capitol Hill. Moreover, it reflects a shift in responses to Climate Change, something vehemently denied by many Republican politicians.
"As we see public perception of the warming phenomenon change, along with some of my colleagues' arrival at a middle school level of scientific literacy, it's going to become important for us as a culture to recontextualize the idea of a warming world," said Rep. Steve White (R - TX). He went into further detail, saying, "Instead of James Inhofe bringing a snowball onto the Senate floor, we're looking more at the silver lining. I mean, who doesn't like summer? When I was a boy, we loved it. Beach trips. Girls in bikinis. No school. I mean, this is a win-win if we play it right."
In response, Rep. Susan Gordon (D - VT) fired back, "Are you kidding me? You know warmer temperatures mean more droughts, more and stronger hurricanes, desertification, destruction at all levels!"
Republicans, however, were too captivated with White's words to issue a response, as they were already in talks to draft an "Endless Summer Bill" that would end public education forever, thereby creating a space for even larger tax cuts, ending politically charged teacher's strikes, and ensuring that future generations would not have access to information or reasoning skills that might lay the blame for catastrophic societal and anthropological shift on the backs of those who not only did nothing to prevent it but actively tried to silence activists in favor of their own interests.
Editor's note: Recognize this article? Yes! It's a repost from 2019! Ha ha ha ha ha... We had no idea what was going to happen in 2020 at that point - imagine!
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