Burlington,
N.C. - Confronted with the gruesomeness of most people's lives, local
entrepreneur Richard Doerenbeck is rethinking his support of the
#AllLivesMatter campaign. After first having become familiar with the
movement, as more inclusive response to #BlackLivesMatter, Doerenbeck
began posting the hashtag regularly on all of his social media
accounts.
“I put
it up on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, just everywhere,” said
Doerenbeck, “I just figured that it was a better statement than
just focusing on one race of people. Isn't that what creates divides
in society?”
An August
19th trip to the Walmart on Graham Hopedale rd. in
Burlington has Doerenbeck thinking differently:
“It's
unbelievable,” he said, “that these people are allowed to exist
in our society. You should see the stuff that they buy.”
This had
been Doerenbeck's first trip to a Walmart, and he added that he would
“never go back.” After seeing a woman with three noisy children
purchasing Chocolate Chip Oreos and a variety of Four Loko flavors,
Doerenbeck believed that he had spotted some manner of anomaly.
“It's
not polite to stare,” he remembered, “And I was sure that I
wasn't the only one caught off guard by this woman's behavior. But
then, I noticed that there was a woman with an insulin pump buying
what looked to be fifty-five pounds of scrapple. Do you know what's
in that stuff?”
Doerenbeck
came to discover that he was alone in his disgust.
“Everywhere,
there were people buying Red Velvet Pop-Tarts and Tap-out gear. I
don't think that they'd even allow you through check out with that
stuff at the Publix in Winston-Salem. It was totally unbelievable.”
Things got
worse when Doerenbeck went to check out.
“These
two 'women',” Doerenbeck said, using finger quotes, “started
yelling at each other because one had cut in line. She had one item.
It was a pair of XXL pink camouflage panties, and I think she thought
that the other woman had gestured for her to just go on
through.”
Doerenbeck shook his head at the memory.
Doerenbeck shook his head at the memory.
“She
hollered that she was just waving away her husband's gas. In public,”
said Doerenbeck, “She yelled it, so everyone could hear. The other
lady said that she only had one item and that it wasn't a big deal.
Well, they just got into it from there. It was awful.”
Scarred by
his first and presumably only trip the Burlington Walmart, Doerenbeck
explained:
“I just
wanted to get some baby spinach and some agave syrup. The Walmart was
on my way home from visiting my uncle. Everyone was always talking about how cheap things
are there, so I figured I'd give it a try. How did we sink so low as
a species?”
No longer
feeling honest about posting #AllLivesMatter, Doerenbeck has come to
the conclusion that all lives do not matter. In fact, he is veering
in quite an opposite direction.
“That
Walmart was a melting pot. I saw Arabs, blacks, whites, asians,
you-name-it. Everyone was garbage. What I've really come to realize
is that, maybe, it's better to say that people who value their lives
by being rich are the ones who really have value. I think I am going
to start a new hashtag, a more honest one, #richlivesmatter. People
are too PC these days. They try to be too inclusive. We all know that
rich lives matter more than everyone else's. Let's just be honest for
once.”
After the
interview, Doerenbeck got back into his 2016 Dodge Charger and drove
back to Apex, NC., a shaken, broken shell of a man.
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