TO COMBAT CLAIMS OF RACISM, CHARLOTTE POLICE EXECUTE UNARMED, WHITE CIVILIAN

Charlotte, NC - On Tuesday, Charlotte police shot and killed 43 year-old Keith Lamont Scott while attempting to serve a warrant to a suspect. The police department claims that Scott was in possession of a firearm, while local residents report that he was reading a book, in a car, waiting for his son to be dropped off. Indignation on a national level has reached explosive proportions after the high profile deaths of many other young, black men at the hands of police. On Tuesday and Wednesday, protests have escalated to riot conditions. These riots have caused an undisclosed amount of damage to public and private property. Twelve police officers have been reported as injured so far, and a civilian appears to have been shot by another civilian. A state of emergency has been declared in the city.
In response to the violence, Charlotte police are extending an olive branch to the black community and its allies.

"We have just recently shot an unarmed white man to prove that race did not play into the shooting of Mr. Scott," said the Chief of Police. He continued in saying, "We want to be clear that our indiscriminate shooting of unarmed civilians is not racially motivated. You should have seen this [white] guy. He looked like he was out of a Gap commercial."
Gregory Richardson, a local pediatrician and father of three, was out for a postprandial walk with his wife when Charlotte police stopped him. He was apparently holding a balloon that he had bought for his wife, and the police have reported that he was waving it at them in a threatening way.
The Chief of Police explained, "A balloon? Is there a way that you can wave that at someone threateningly? Come on people, if we're willing to shoot this guy, we're willing to shoot just about anyone. Black, white, blue, rich, poor, it's just anyone. What you have to understand is that we're under a lot of pressure. In a split second, a police officer could suddenly decide to use the weapon that he has been trained to empty at the center of mass in the midst of a population - any population - that he has been told could suddenly attack and kill him at any time. Anyone, at any time, could attack a police officer. We train our police to be absolutely terrified of anyone around them - regardless of race. That's why, when Mr. Richardson had the balloon, it - I dunno - triggered something. Officer Fitzgerald just lost it and emptied a clip into him. It happens all the time. We just felt the need to show everyone that it happens to white people, too."