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| This is the toy. |
(Pawtucket, RI) Hasbro has announced that its Mr. Potato Head brand will drop the "Mr." from the line. Individual product boxes will still bear the prefixes, "Mr." and "Mrs."
"See!?" screamed a top Hasbro executive. "See!? We want to be inclusive of everyone. Evangelical Christians can have their Mr. and Mrs. on the boxes. Non-gender people, whatever they're called these days - you know - they can have Potato Head. We care! We f***ing CARE! I swear to god if I get another call from one of these people criticizing us for launching a violent, nationalistic, army indoctrination tool to sell action figures, I'm going to give birth through my eye socket in Times Square. No one even got shot in the GI Joe cartoon! Come on! This is freaking insane people. What do we have to do to sell you an identity that you'll actually buy for your kids?"
Hot Topic executives refused to comment because they were too busy signing another contract to sublimate dissent into "My Hero Academia" vintage style lunchboxes.
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