Satan: Do Not Associate Me With Nike

 

The swoosh logo is offensive to anyone with any sense of decency

(Ninth Circle) - In an unexpected move, Satan, Lucifer, the Fallen One, Lord of Darkness, the Original Serpent, has called a press conference with regard to the controversy surrounding hip hop artist, Lil Nas X's shoes. The customized pairs of Nike Air Max 97's adorned with satanic icons have drawn ire from both Christians and the shoe company itself. Speaking from the Inferno's frozen lake, Satan had this to say, "I want to make it clear that I have never had any affiliation with the Nike shoe company. Their labor practices are abhorrent, and Phil Knight is just a really, really bad guy. So, this is for all of you Christians who are cutting up the Nike merchandise: if you're fine with the way that corporate America functions until my name is brought up, you're part of the problem."

The Lord of Darkness would not comment directly on whether or not he and Lil Nas X were involved romantically, as was indicated in the video.

"Did you see the end? Spoiler alert: he kills me. Do you think that's indicative of me being in a relationship with the guy?"

When asked about the shoes again, Satan went on to say, "I have hooves. HOOVES. I don't wear shoes. I don't need them. If I did, I'd be sure that they weren't made in places that make this pit - and it is a pit - look like a Sunday afternoon tea party. Do you know what they're doing to the Uyghurs in those compounds? Of course not. If you're worried about a shoe sporting my logos, you probably don't even read. I will say it one more time: I am not now, nor have I ever been, involved with the Nike shoe company."